Not everyone is going to like you!
Does everyone want to be liked? People will say they don’t care and it doesn’t matter, but the truth is, it does matter to 90% of people. I’ve always loved meeting new people and making new friends. I like everyone I meet automatically, well until they either do something bad or give me a reason not to. I remember growing up and actually getting upset if someone took a disliking to me for no apparent reason. I couldn’t understand why? I knew I didn’t say or do anything bad to them, and yet they had this obvious content. I remember the more I tried to win their affection the more they disliked me, it baffled me. As I got older, I started to take it less personal and started to realise we all experience or feel as though we’re being disliked for nothing more than just being ourselves. That realisation only came in my 20’s and I wish I knew this sooner. I still enjoy being liked by others, but now it doesn’t matter to me if someone doesn’t like me. My advice is just your true self and your people/tribe will love you. Don’t bother trying too hard or trying to get the others to like you, its a waste of time and energy. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s completely ok. Focus on giving your time to those who appreciate you for just being you. You will have much more meaningful relationships with those who like you without you trying. And as the old saying goes. I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea”
Life is unfair
Fair what is fair? the very definition of fair is described as “treating people equally without favouritism or discrimination”. People make a cognitive choice whether or not they are going to treat others fairly. Unfortunately life is a force that doesn’t evenly distribute happiness and pain fairly. There are things that will happen that will happen that will make you feel lost, alone, anxious and in some situations utterly hopeless. But, don’t think for one second that you are the only one feeling this or going through it. You may be going through something right now and you may ask yourself why me? But you need to STOP thinking like this right now! The best advice is to cry a little or a lot, cry it out and then let it go. Life is about swings and roundabouts, one day everything is great and the next it can feel like your whole world is falling apart. So no matter what you’re going through or how hard your life feels right now, just remember that nothing lasts forever and things can only get better. I guess a piece of advice I wish I got when I was younger, was don’t ever feel sorry for yourself, understand that everyone has their own hurt and pain. Feeling sorry for yourself is a pointless thing to do and doing so may result in you getting resentful of others or worse again using your shortcomings as an excuse for you not chasing your dreams. I recently saw a video on Facebook where a man from the US was born with no limbs, no arms and no legs. Despite these unbelievable obstacles he learned to write with the stubs of his feet. He was so badly bullied at around 10-11 he tried to kill himself to rid his family of what he considered a burden and that was himself. He went on to become a motivational speaker for others suffering from this genetic disorder and he ended up happily married. I thought this was a powerful and inspirational story, this man could have so easily given up and given in to the unfair hand he was dealt. But he didn’t. So, life is unfair, but when the going gets tough, the tough keep going. Always count your blessings as a live a life of gratitude.
Failure is enviable
Failing is such a big part of life. If you don’t fail, then you don’t learn and grow. I used to think it was just me who felt the weight of failure like a ton of bricks on my shoulders. Everyone fails and those who say they haven’t are either deeply delusional or they’re lying. One thing I wish I knew when I was a teenager is that failing is the necessary process you need to go through in order to improve and learn. Failing can sometimes be the nudge you need to pull your socks up and work harder. But in some cases, you will do your absolute best and you still might not get the outcome you wanted, don’t despair it may not be your day or the right time for you to get what you want. My advice when it comes to failure is, accept it, digest it and look back at what you could have done differently. Doing this exercise will help you to understand how to move on to learn and grow.
You get out what you put in
School, college, football, dancing, relationships etc. Good results, winning matches and placing in competitions and having healthy relationships doesn’t happen by accident it’s a direct result of effort. As Thomas Edison once said, “Success is 10 percent inspiration and 90 percent perspiration”. What I am saying here is don’t believe those who ace the test and say they didn’t put in the time or effort. Noone gets top results without breaking a sweat. Work hard, put the effort in and aspire to be the best version of yourself. I used to think I wasn’t “naturally smart” but the truth is, I just wasn’t putting the right amount of hard work and effort. This is something I wish I knew when I was younger.
Whatever you truly want in life, just go for it! People will tell you it can’t be done, that’s too ambitious or they will try convince you to go for the safer option. I always wanted to work in fashion but I was told I needed to be really “talented” and good at art. I listened to them (career guidance teacher) and I was too scared to go for what I really wanted out of fear. If you want to be a singer, designer, writer, YouTube star (I read recently that this is what teenagers are putting down as a career option} or even become the President. Then just go for it! Have no fear, give it 110% and never think your dreams are too big. “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt.
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Nelly Says x