Pic credit: Olivia Culpo
Perfection, what is perfection? Is it an unattainable goal that we all strive for, but rarely achieve? Why do we seek praise, gratification and in some cases an unlimited supply of admiration and devotion? It goes back to humanity’s primitive days. It was survival of the fittest and being apart and liked by the tribe was crucial for your legacy, because being ostracized or being outcasted meant your chances of survival were greatly reduced. The pursuit of perfection is genetically ingrained and preconditioned by nature and by nurture. We are thought to strive for perfection in our work and in how we look.
When we start school we are praised on merits achieved academically and through sports and activities. We grow up to believe we need to have the best results in school and take the top place in any activity we take part in. We are also raised to take care and pride in our appearance. The media and society teach us that those who are beautiful “perfect” and those talented sports stars are the people we should aspire to.
Pic cred: Dan Bilzerian
Programmed and raised to be “perfect”. Along with dealing with family and society pressures, there’s another phenomenon that our parents or grandparents didn’t have to consider when striving for “perfection” and that’s social media. Sure, newspapers, media & television were influencing them and putting pressure on them, but I don’t believe to the same extent that we’re dealing with today. Facebook was the first real social media platform that exploded in popularity globally. It gave us a voice an opportunity to show our individuality, interests and broadcast our lives. But not only that it gave most of us an unhealthy addiction and that addiction was a constant need for gratification. Sean Parker one Facebook’s founder recently came out and said they knew they were creating something so addictive that would be exploited “a vulnerability in human psychology”. So, we have one of the founders of the biggest and most widely used social network platform admitting that they designed the UX experience to exploit us. They understood what made us tick, they understood our need for community, our need for gratification and above all our need for a sense of belonging. They used this and designed a social networking site that gave us a shot of dopamine for each like, for each time someone wrote on our wall and for each notification for the private messages we received. But as Facebook and we matured it became flooded with irrelevant ads and annoying posts by people over documenting their lives. Then, something shiny and new came along. It was a place where we could show off our photography skills a place where no one B!ched or moaned. A place where the pretty girls shared their selfies, where the gym enthusiast and playboys shared their “perfect lives”, that place was Instagram.
Pic cred: Gizele Oliveira
Instagram was the escape from reality it was the place where the “influencers” were born. These seem to be “perfect people” living these “perfect lives”. We saw the beautiful, the creative, the talented sore in popularity, we all sat back scrolled, liked and followed. As we watched and followed the lines between what was real and what was created and curated for the perception of the “perfect life” completely faded. We all fell for it and we all followed. And what happened then? We started to curate and share our so-called “perfect lives”. Instead of becoming the solution to these fake realities we became part of the problem.
Instagram although it hasn’t been publicly confirmed that they built a platform with a very similar concept to Facebook. The dopamine released from getting gratifications from peers and strangers alike. Instagram took it a step further, by allowing your sense of self-worth to be further reinforced by your social status i.e the number of followers you have.
Pic credit: Lydia Millen
We can now get a bird’s eye view into the lives of the rich, famous, influencer, friends and foes. Although we carefully select the best angles, light and pics of our “enviable lives” we omit this rule when looking and comparing our lives to others. It’s a trap and we’re all guilty of falling for. The truth is we’re all chasing something. There are those who see to have the “Best relationship” but aren’t where they want to be in their career. There are those who are excelling in their career but they can’t find the “one”. There are those who are more than comfortable financially but don’t have the freedom to go travelling. There are those who are travelling and having a great time but anxious about timelines and security. I think we’re all struggling for perfection. No one’s life is perfect and we’re all in our own ways a little broken and missing something. I guess I decided to write this post because I am tired of the never-ending highlight reels, we’re all guilty of it but let’s start moving towards being more self-aware and being more mindful that your life is for you and nobody else. Forget the likes, the follows, the comparisons and the ordering or going to places just so you can post on the GRAM. Am I guilty of this? Absolutely! Do I want to change this in my life? MOST definitely!
Can’t believe that this magical year is almost over ✨ 2017 was truly amazing, I met so many new wonderful people, traveled the world and created great memories 😌 I hope your year was full of happiness and I wish you all the best in the New Year! ❤️ Даже не верится, что этот год подходит к концу..наверное самый насыщенный год в моей жизни 🙏🏻 надеюсь, что и ваш год был полон радостей и приятных воспоминаний 💙 в новом голу желаю вам исполнения всех ваших желаний (что конечно невозможно без приложения значительных усилий 💪🏻), любви и хорошего настроения 😘 с Наступающим!
Pic credit: Polabur
I spent way too many hours of my life on social media last year looking at the so-called perfect lives of celebrities & influencers. This year I am taking MY TIME back and I am living in the moment. No more comparing my life to others. I’ve always tried to live a life of gratitude and positivity but sometimes I catch myself freaking out worrying that I’ve not hit one milestone or another or that I am not where I thought I would be at this age. But, then I stop myself and think, life is for living and it’s too short to be worrying or comparing. Stop looking for perfection, because it doesn’t exist! Set goals, work hard, be nice to people, don’t give into society’s pressures and above all just be grateful and happy for everything you have in your life now!
Wishing you health & happiness for 2018 and let me know your thoughts on this post !
Much Love Nelly x x x